It is June 25th, again.

Seven years ago March, my cousin and I were checking out a facility to possibly rent for my wedding. She was going to be my matron of honor and I in turn would be in her wedding scheduled about a month before my own. Since we were little girls, we had always heard how much we looked alike. Kinda like the closest thing I had to having my very own sister.

Seven years ago today was a really bad day. I woke up from an awful nightmare that I had about said cousin being shot and killed. It was pretty traumatic. I remember I had to work. My fiance aka buddy boy was still laying in bed and I had just gotten out of the shower and was on the phone arguing with the phone company about transferring our current number to a new residence.  I became SO upset that I started crying when I hung up. I was ticked off to say the least. NKOTB had just been on the TV as well which was strange since they had disbanded 7 years before. I finished getting ready for work and headed to the library. While I was having some down time, I decided to email my cousin. I thought about telling her about the dream but decided against. it. Anyway, I wrote her about the wedding stuff and responded to some other things we had talked about last. Later that day, I checked my email to see if she had responded and found this from her sister:

“hi everyone. i’m writing to let you know that my sister, name omitted, was in a fatal car accident this morning on her way to school…”

I am still in shock about that I think. We still don’t have any conclusive answers about what happened. We know her 2 seater car was crushed after it crossed into oncoming traffic and slammed into the rear axle of a semi truck. She was not wearing her seatbelt, not that it would have mattered. But, she most likely wouldn’t have been flung from her car and on her face when help arrived if she had been strapped in. Adding insult to injury, I guess (pardon the pun).

She left behind her mom, dad, two sisters, her fiance and their 1 yr. old baby boy. He had just turned one a few weeks before. It is still so hard to deal with that. She was just 23 years old. I miss you, biffy.